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Sigh. Velcro.

August 31, 2010

Okay – I’m going lean and mean with this one. Can we stop wearing velcro shoes? Sure – if you’re wearing them for medical reasons – I get it – big fat hairy pass.

But to that lay-about 3 year old with the princess shoes? Why don’t you just bare down, focus, learn to hold those those laces and tell momz and pops to invest in some adorable baby Vans, or even some Samabas. Show some discipline.  Plus do you know how cheap kids’ Jordan’s are? Oh to be a size 6yr – Jordans left and right yo!

Vans. Wee.

Adidas. Awwwwww.

Jordans. Bunny kitten cute!

And I mean, the desecration of classic sneakers with velcro? We’re talking sacrilege,  like someone peeing all over the Acropolis. It’s not right and in poor taste.

Adidas butchery.

Blazers. Velcro version.

Velcro as flourish – fine. But full blown swap of laces for velcro? To what end?

Trainer. Velcro in appropriate situ.

And hipsters – I have a bit of a hard on for you. I can get behind the whole fashion foibles as irony shtick – don’t you TELL ME ABOUT IRONY –  but I came across this picture of a New York Times photographer’s assistant wearing like New Balance velcros – and it’s just full-stop ugly.  Sometimes revolting is simply that – unsalvageable and seriously suckballs. Oh but go ahead – trust this guy.

This guy.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Laurie permalink
    August 31, 2010 8:54 am

    Soooooo…. what you’re saying is…. you don’t like velcro huh?

    To be clear: is this strictly an anti-velcro dictate, or a general pro-lace policy?

    Cuz I’ve got a few pairs of Royals that have neither and daaannggg they be comfy.


  1. Almost dead to me: Adidas « Good shoe. Bad shoe.

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