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Back to the salt mines suckas

October 7, 2013

HOLY SHIT PEOPLE!!! I just realized its almost been two years since I’ve posted. I’ve had to retrain myself how to use this cockamamie thang. I can’t spell and my grammar’s shot. This bodes well for my re-entry back into the work force.

Oh ho you say – what have I been doing? Springing a sprog yo! That’s right. Me and le husband procreated, and unfortunately the idyll that is maternity leave is almost over. And as the end looms, I’m forced to confront some VERY harshy mc-harsh realities. Namely, what in god’s green acre is happening in the world of shoes?

Honestly, I seriously peaced out and am feeling very confused and ill at ease. The only shoes I’ve bought in the past year are a weird pair of Clarks I don’t want to talk about. And baby Vans for le bambeen.

clarks

There was a deep confusion.

vans

Your cockles will be warmed.

Oh AND, I just re-read my last entry. And GUESS WHAT? Am still sans Ferragamos. Some debbie downer pissed all over my dreams saying my feet were going to get fat from pregnancy and they wouldn’t fit.

Speaking of fat, the one thing I can speak to with great confidence – thank christ a shmear of it remains – is that, again, Air Max rule. I mean when you take a shoe that can support your carcass at 2-hunny pounds and then as you march relentlessly all over hell’s half acre (pretty sure I’m dog’s breakfasting some sayings here) with a stroller – that is a shoe worth knowing. But my position on the Air Max is clear. And I have bigger issues.

So I start back to work in a months time, and I’ve heads upped my hubs that I shall be taking his hard earned money and my not so hard earned EI and shall be BLOWING MY WAD so to speak on a single pair of shoes. Said wad has since been upgraded to encompass two pairs. Said upgrade has not at time of publication been approved.

Regardless, am in the throes of my research. Because once the purchase is made, that’s it people! Baby needs a pony, and I can’t be higgidy piggildy purchasing with impunity! The stakes be high. I’ve never operated under such a heightened sense of awareness. What if I miss-step and saddle myself with something deeply horrend? Je waffle.

Do I stick safely to classics? A la Frye Chelsea boot – with its soft, slightly pebbled leather and waspily arch elegance – or do I MOUNT the trend train with something like the Dieppa Restrepo Ostrich platforms?

frye-nordstrom-boots-jillian-chelsea-boot

I have a horse. Bring it to me.

Platforms

This picture is awful.

Dunno man. Feeling tentative. PLUS PS – the rest of my wardrobe is in veritable tatters – mere scraps – the barest of rags! The only shmatte I bought this whole entire year is a Hawaiian shirt. And so while I inch deliciously closer towards truly being Thomas Magnum – by most people’s standards I’m nowheresville.

These shoes are going to have to do some serious heavy lifting. I’ve done Atlas analogies before – oh and I’ll do it again. The weight of the world y’all! Teetering, tremulously on strong yet supple shoe leather! It’s a big ol’ oy. Well. Hey. We all have our challenges. I’ll keep you apprised.

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